You can buy the novel CHAINED GENERATIONS by LUMINITZA SAVA and LIDIA SAVA CALVERT, both as an e-book or paperback from http://www.lumispress.com/1shop/.

Other places from where you can buy a paperback book:

For buyers outside the USA, you can buy it from Amazon.com available in your country.

In the USA, the following stores carry the book:

	Store	Price	Taxable State	Shipping* (days)	Availability	Coupon	Total Cost*
	Wal-Mart	$10.20	All states except DE, MT, NH, OR	$2.78  Std. Grnd: 3-7	in stock		$12.98
	Buy.com	$10.30	CA,IN, MA	$3.25  Std. Grnd: 3-10	usually ships in 1 to 2 business days		$13.55
	Half.com	$10.53	No sales tax	$3.25  Std. Grnd: 4-12	in stock		$13.78
	Amazon Marketplace	$10.35	WA	$3.49  Std. Grnd: 4-14	17 available		$13.84
	ValoreBooks	$10.53	No sales tax	$3.49  Media Mail: 4-14	See store		$14.02
	SuperBookDeals	$10.60	MD	$3.99  Cost Cutter Shipping: 2-14	in stock		$14.59
	TextbookX	$11.26	CT	$3.58  Std. Grnd: 3-7	See store	show coupon	$14.84
	Amazon Marketplace	$11.37  used	WA	$3.49  Std. Grnd: 4-14	9 available		$14.86
	BiggerBooks	$10.94	KY	$3.97  USPS Mail: 3-8	In Stock Usually ships in 24-48 Hours		$14.91
	eCampus	$11.17	KY	$3.97  USPS Mail: 3-8	In Stock Usually Ships in 24-48 Hours	show coupon	$15.14
	eBay Stores	$11.72  new - fixed price	No sales tax	$3.49	See store		$15.21
	BooksAMillion	$11.51  (club price: $10.35)	AL	$3.98  Std. Grnd: 5-10	Ships within 2-3 days.	show coupon	$15.49
	Alibris Marketplace	$12.20  Used	CA,NC, NV	$3.49  Standard: 4-14	in stock		$15.69
	Amazon	$12.44	WA,ND	$3.99  Std. Grnd: 3-7	Usually ships in 24 hours	show coupon	$16.43
	TextbooksRus	$14.18	OH	$2.99  USPS Priority Mail: 1-3	In Stock		$17.17
	Amazon Canada Marketplace	$10.67	No sales tax	$6.86  Standard International Shipping:: 7-12	5 available		$17.53
	Amazon Marketplace	$15.95  collectible	WA	$3.49  Std. Grnd: 4-14	1 available		$19.44
	Blackwell	$15.95	No sales tax	$3.49  Std. Grnd: 4-7	In stock (immediate dispatch)		$19.44
	Barnes & Noble.com	$15.95  (club price: $14.36)	CO,CT,FL,GA, IA,ID,IL,KS, MA,MD,MN,MO, NC	$3.99  Std. Grnd: 3-8	See store	show coupon	$19.94
	Amazon Canada	$11.94	Canada	$8.57  Standard International Shipping:: 8-16	Usually ships in 4 to 6 weeks	show coupon	$20.51
	Powells	$15.95	No sales tax	$5.50  Expedited Ground: 2-7	1 to 3 days	show coupon	$21.45
	Amazon Japan Marketplace	$13.40	No sales tax	$10.49  International economy: 14-21	4 available		$23.89
	Abebooks	$11.08  used	Varies	$13.11  14-56 days	See store		$24.19
	Amazon France Marketplace	$11.55	No sales tax	$13.35  Standard International: 10-12	8 available		$24.90
	Amazon France Marketplace	$11.68  used	No sales tax	$13.35  Standard International: 10-12	1 available		$25.03
	Amazon Japan	$14.11	Japan	$13.11  International economy: 14-21	通常1～2週間以内に発送		$27.22
	Amazon UK Marketplace	$14.30  used	No sales tax	$13.02  7-12 days	5 available		$27.32
	Amazon France	$16.89	France	$13.24  Standard International: 10-12	Habituellement expédié sous 13 à 14 jours		$30.13
	Amazon Germany Marketplace	$11.46	No sales tax	$18.83  Standard Shipping:: 7-21	8 available		$30.29
	Amazon Germany	$18.39	Germany	$18.83  Standard Shipping:: 9-12	Gewöhnlich versandfertig bei Amazon in 11 bis 13 Tagen.		$37.22
	Amazon Canada Marketplace	$39.63  used	No sales tax	$6.86  Standard International Shipping:: 7-12	1 available		$46.49

CHAPTER 27

At last, Ludmila succeeded to save enough money for her journey.  At the same time, she could give Serafima a sum which would stand her in good stead in time of need.  Only after she had made a good supply of provisions for the old woman and the child, did she begin to prepare for her departure.
The moment of parting was heart rending for them all.  Gavrik clung to Ludmila, crying bitterly and pleading as he sobbed.  "Please God, don't take Ludmila away! Don't go, please! Who is going to look after us now?"
 The old woman wept silently, wondering how she would manage without Ludmila.  Mikhail came to bid her farewell and his eyes were full of tears at the moment of parting.  They had all wanted to accompany Ludmila to the train station, but she had begged them not to, for fear that she might give in to their pleas and return home with them.  She picked up her bag, kissed them for the last time and ran weeping out of the  house.  It was hard to tear herself away from them.  When she turned around, she saw that Gavrik had wrested himself from his grandmother's arms and was running after her sobbing wildly and calling her name.  Ludmila felt that her heart would break.  Mikhail ran after the child and picked him up, but Gavrik kicked and screamed, trying vainly to free himself.  Seeing his grief, Ludmila was filled with remorse and almost turned back, but then she remembered her child and managed to master her emotions.  Her maternal instinct triumphed and she thought only of the child who had grown up without a mother's love and might be needing her at that very moment.
She wiped her eyes and hurried toward the train station, without turning back, while Gavrik's cries still rang in her ears.  When she bought her ticket, she was told that the Trans-Siberian express would be late.  She sat on a bench, but she was so excited and elated, that she could not keep still.  She paced impatiently up and down the platform, avoiding the exit, lest she remembered Gavrik's despair and ran back to him.  At last, the train was announced and she forgot everything else.  A crowd had gathered on the platform by the time the train pulled in.  At a glance she saw that it was full to overflowing.  She ran to the steps and with great difficulty succeeded to climb in, pushing and forcing her way through the mass of travelers with their baskets, bundles, bags and suitcases.
It was pitch dark in the train, but a pale moonlight streamed through the windows, revealing passengers huddled fast asleep in the corridor, sitting on trunks and suitcases, with baskets and bundles clutched in their arms, overcome by fatigue.  At day break, Ludmila looked around at her fellow-travelers, some of whom were still dozing, while others were yawning and rubbing their eyes.  Looking out of the window, she saw the mist raising wraithlike from the river which ran parallel to the railroad.  She gazed with curiosity at the changing landscape flashing past.  Toward noon, a town appeared on the horizon.  As the train approached it, to her surprise, she saw that there were trees in leaf and no sign of snow.  The train stopped in the station for some time, while the locomotive picked up cars.  Ludmila's patience was sorely tried by all these delays, because her one desire was to reach Moscow as soon as possible.  Several people got off the train, making some room in a compartment.  Ludmila went in and finally sat down.
An old woman accompanied by a teenager entered the compartment.  The boy crammed a suitcase and some baskets into the already overcrowded rack and placed a small bundle on the seat next to Ludmila.  Then, he said "good-bye" to the old woman and got off the train as it began to move out of the station.  Almost immediately, the conductor appeared in the doorway, with a pair of clippers in his hand.
"Tickets please.  Did anyone get on at the last stop?" he asked.
The old woman began to search frantically in her pockets and bundle, even pulling a knotted handkerchief from her bra, but to no avail.  Her ticket was nowhere to be found.  She got up to lift a basket off the rack, but in her haste, it slipped from her hands and overturned, showering apples on the heads of the other passengers.  Some ducks in a basket under the seat began to quack furiously.
 "Apples! When did I last see an apple?" Ludmila thought, her mouth watering at the scent of the almost forgotten fruit.
"Oh, God, what I am to do? Probably my nephew forgot to give me my ticket, although I seem to remember taking it and putting it in a safe place.  But where? When you are not used traveling, you lose your head," she wailed, sick with anxiety.
"Don't get upset, you'll find it . . . " one passenger said soothingly.
"Comrade, I'm only doing my duty," the conductor snapped irritably.  "Little mother, if you haven't got a ticket, you'll have to get off at the next stop, and also pay a fine, five times the cost of the ticket."
"Oh, God help me!" the old woman moaned, her face contorted with fear and emotion.  I haven't got that much money."
"How much must she pay?" Ludmila asked, holding out a wad of notes.  Take the cost of the ticket out of these."
"You must not pay for me, my dear, because I bought a ticket and it should be here somewhere.  Just wait a minute.  I've put it in such a safe place that I can't find it myself."
The old woman was trembling and beads of perspiration stood out on her forehead.  As a last hope, she looked in the cuffs of her coat, where she found the lost ticket.
"Here it is, comrade, do you see? I told you that I'd bought my ticket and you didn't believe me," she cried triumphantly.
"If you had to deal with the slippery customers I meet every day, you'd be a doubting Thomas too," the conductor said apologetically, closing the door.
The old woman stooped down to collect her apples, with the help of other people in the compartment.  This upset the ducks, who started to quack again.  Bending down, Ludmila picked up an apple and held it in her hand, gazing at it in wonder.  The old woman saw the expression on her face and understood that she was craving for an apple.  She thought that maybe Ludmila was pregnant.
"Eat it, my dear, please do," she urged Ludmila, arranging the apples in her basket and covering them with a newspaper.
"Thank you so much, I'm terribly thirsty," Ludmila excused herself with some embarrassment, sinking her teeth into the juicy flesh of the fruit. Her stomach seemed to quiver with delight at this forgotten taste.
For days on end, the train traveled westward.  Ludmila was engrossed in her thoughts, impatiently awaiting her reunion with her loved ones, trying to imagine how it would come about and indulging in idyllic daydreams.  She lost all notions of passage of time and was deep in thoughts, when at last, the train slowed down and stopped.
"Thank God, we've arrived," said the old woman.  "My son is meeting me at the station, but will you wait with me until I see him, my dear?"
Ludmila looked out of the window and recognized the Moscow railroad station.  Emotion gripped her throat and she could not speak.  A tall, sturdy man was waiting along the platform, scanning the windows.  When he reached Ludmila's compartment, he waved to the old woman.  When they got off the train, he took his mother in his arms and embraced her.
"This is my son, Igor," she told Ludmila.  "This young woman has traveled all the way with me and has been very kind," she introduced Ludmila to her son, who shook warmly her hand.
Picking up their bags, they hurried toward the exit, where Igor had parked the truck belonging to the enterprise where he worked.  He asked Ludmila where she lived and offered to drive her there, as it was on his way.  The old woman chattered like a magpie, telling her son about the happenings in the village.
After driving for some time, the truck drew up in front of a house.  Igor informed Ludmila that they reached the address she had given him.  He and his mother shook her hand and bade her farewell.  She realized that this was the house where her mother lived.  She felt like asking Igor if this was really the address she had given him, but felt ashamed to do so.  She got out and the truck drove off, leaving her standing on the sidewalk.  She checked the number of the house and rang the bell.
A man naked to the waist opened the door a few inches.
"Whom are you looking for?"
"Does Vera Medvedeva live here?" Ludmila asked hesitantly.
"Yes," the man replied, opening the door.
Ludmila went in and found herself in a large hall, divided up by wardrobes, screens and curtains.  Hearing someone enter, men, women and children pocked their heads out to see who it was.
"Whom is she looking for?" a middle-aged woman asked, barring Ludmila's path.
"Please go upstairs and knock at the door on the right," the man said, pointing to a spiral staircase.
Ludmila made her way upstairs, feeling the inquisitive eyes of all the occupants of the ground floor riveted on her.  The beautifully carved oak ceiling caught her eye and deeply impressed her.  When she reached the door on the right side, she paused for a moment to catch her breath and master her emotion.  Then, she knocked, her heart beating with agonizing anxiety.
Inside, someone called: "Come in."
Ludmila opened the door and went in slowly.  Vera appeared from behind the screen.
"Mamma!" Ludmila cried at the top of her voice.  "Mamma!" In a burst of joy, the word broke from her, releasing all her pain and anguish that had built up over so many years.
"Ludmila, my darling, my beloved child, you've come home at last! Thank God!" sobbed Vera overjoyed, kissing and hugging Ludmila.
Clasped in her mother's arms, Ludmila raised her eyes and saw Tadeus standing a few steps away, holding the hand of a little girl, who was staring wide-eyed at the newcomer.  An electric charge seemed to shoot through Ludmila's body, rooting her to the ground.  She wondered if she were dreaming, as she had so often during the years that they had been separated.  She shut her eyes, but when she opened them again, he was still there.  She ran toward him with open arms and they embraced.  Tadeus clasped her to his chest, covering her face with kisses and mingling his tears with hers.  It was the first time that they could give full rain to their feelings, without fear of being found out.
"Oh, it is really you! I can see you and touch you and yet I can hardly believe my eyes!" Ludmila whispered, standing back and looking at him.
"Yes, my dearest.  As you can see, I kept my promise to you," he replied in tremulous tones, striving to control his emotion.  "Svetlana," he added, turning toward the child, "at last, you may kiss your mummy, about whom you're always asking me!"
Speechless with emotion, Ludmila seized Svetlana in her arms and held her close, kissing her wildly, while tears of joy streamed down her face.  Teaming herself away from her daughter, Ludmila placed her hands on her shoulders and looked at her with tender admiration.
"How big you have grown, my darling! You are prettier than I even imagined."
"She is the living image of her mother, she always reminded me of you," said Vera.  "You looked just like her when you were her age."
"But father, where's father?" Ludmila asked apprehensively.
"My dear, he didn't return from the front . . . "
"Oh, no!" Ludmila whispered, collapsing into an armchair, completely overcome by the news, "Not father . . . "
"Yes, dearest, I miss him terribly, he was such a good, kind man, may he rest in peace!" said Vera, beginning to set the table.  "Let's have something to eat, you're probably starving," she said, trying to change the subject.
Svetlana held her mother close, kissing her face and hands.
"Mummy, you are my dear mummy, you're just like I imagined you'd be, especially as granny and Tad always tell me that I'm like you."
"I tried so hard to imagine what you'd look like, but I never succeeded.  I always saw you as a baby in my arms, as you were the last time I saw you," said Ludmila, stroking her daughter's hair.
"Svetlana, pour out some water for your mummy to wash herself, then come to the table."
Tadeus helped Ludmila off with her coat and hung it on a peg on the wall.
"I'm afraid it is rather cold in here, we haven't begun to light the stove yet, as wood and coal are scarce.  We have ration cards, but the ration is far too small.  Come to the table, my dear," Vera said.
"This room is far too big to warm properly, but we've got used to it," explained Tadeus.
"Do you live here too?" Ludmila asked, sitting on the chair he held for her.
"Tad is one of our family, we're very fond of him," Vera intervened hastily.  I don't know what we'd have done without him.  At the worst moments, he helped us and we've shared everything together."
"That's what I promised you when we parted," Tadeus added.
Svetlana took a stool and sat next to her mother, holding her hand.  She did not intend to let her out of her sight.
"But weren't you sent to the front?" Ludmila asked him.
"Yes, but God protected me and brought me back safe and sound.  I was sent to a field hospital behind the front.  Toward the end of the war, I went home to Poland, hoping to find my family."
"And did you find them?" Ludmila asked impatiently.
"No.  I could not bear the solitude and the memories of the past, so I came to find Svetlana and your mother, knowing that they may need my help.  The hope of seeing you again one day, was another reason for taking this decision.  I took a competitive examination and passed, but I had to have a residence in Moscow to take my job."
"So, I wrote a letter, stating that I accept him in my living space and he got his job," Vera hastened to add.
"But why did you come to Moscow, mother?" asked Ludmila.
"Your father was mobilized and I had no news of you.  Seeing that the front was getting near to C~u[ani, I came to Moscow, because I was afraid of being separated from you.  I told you all the rest, when I saw you in the camp," said Vera, not wanting to mention Shurik's name.
"And how did you find this place?"
"I have a friend at the place where I work.  You'll meet her tomorrow.  She=s on the night shift this week.  Well, her mother died and she was left with more living space than she was allowed.  You probably know that each of us has the right to only eight square meters.  If you have more than that, or if you have a room or apartment all to yourself, you have to pay twice the normal rent for it.  This room is so large, that the rent would have cost her nearly all her monthly wages.  By sharing the room, the rent was greatly reduced, so she was obliged to take someone to live with her."
"And do you get on well with your roommate?"
"Yes, because we work in different shifts."
"I don't get home until late in the evening, when I finish the afternoon surgery, so we lead a peaceful life here," added Tadeus.
"You should see how it is on the ground floor, mummy.  It's like a nightmare, funny and sad at the same time," Svetlana intervened in the conversation.
"Why is that, darling?"
"There are several women in the same room.  At first, there were two brothers, who eventually married and formed their own families.  One of them got divorced, but as he had nowhere to live, he divided off a corner of the room with cupboards and curtains and retired there with his bed and table.  His ex-wife brought her mother to live with her, to look after the children and run the place, as she was married to another man," Vera explained.
"It must be a wasp's nest," Ludmila agreed.
"It's much worse than that.  Just imagine, every word spoken, or even whispered, is heard by all the others, although they turn up the radio to cover their conversations.  Then, the others complain that they can't sleep because of the noise.  They quarrel and scream at one another, cursing and swearing like troopers.  At times, there is such an uproar that we have the impression that we live in a madhouse," Vera added.
 "After the hell in which I lived for so many years, this seems like paradise, now that we're together again," said Ludmila, clasping Svetlana to be breast.  "God has given me more than I dared to hope for, my dear ones," she went on, casting a meaningful glance at Tadeus.  Their eyes met, he smiled, approached them and encircled them both in his strong arms.  Ludmila felt the pressure of his warm body and experienced a new, delightful sensation of security.  She could not stop the tears that invaded her eyes.
"Don't cry, mummy!" begged Svetlana, wiping her eyes with her finger tips.
"I don't want to, but the tears are just spilling.  They are happy tears! Oh, I am so happy!"
"You'd better hurry, dear, and put on your coat," Vera told the child as she cleared away the dishes.  "Did you forget that we must go to school?"
"Must she go today?" asked Ludmila.
"She is in a school play," explained Tadeus.
"Yes, she is our beautiful little actress.  Aren't you?" said Vera, kissing her.
"That's right, she certainly is the most beautiful in the play," Tadeus said, bringing their coats and helping them.
When they had left, he locked the door, switched on the radio to music, and knelt beside Ludmila.
"Oh, how much I love you, how much I've missed you, dreamed about you," he said, entwining her in his arms, pressing her close to him.
"You are smothering me!" she gasped, laughing.
"Ludmila, if only you can imagine how I longed for you, how I prayed we would somehow, somewhere be together."
"It's a miracle,A she murmured.  "I never thought to see you again, at least not in this world."
"There is so much we must now share, so much lost time that we must make up for."
His mouth gently sought hers, and she opened her lips in an irresistible surge of passion.  Shivers raced through her body, and her heart was pounding.
"Take me," she urged.  "Oh, my darling, make love to me!"
He quickly removed his shoes, his jacket and his trousers.  Then, his fingers sought awkwardly to unbutton her dress.  His hands wandered ineffectually over her breasts and thighs.
"Let me, let me," said Ludmila, unable to repress a giggle.
She stood, pulled the dress over head, then slipped gracefully out of her underwear.  Suddenly, feeling shy, she held the clothing before her naked body.  Tadeus swept her from her feet and placed her on one of the beds.  He softly kissed her forehead, her nose, her eyes, her lips and her throat.  She was trembling uncontrollably and looked up at him smiling.
"This is our moment," she whispered.  "In Siberia, we were like thieves, stealing kisses, and now, at last, it is happening.  I love you."
He looked at her porcelain face, her sparkling eyes, the soft skin of her firm breasts.  It seemed unbelievable to him that such exquisite beauty had existed, hidden beneath the Siberian parkas.  He touched her breasts, her slender hips, her thighs, as if they were a miraculous, mysterious treasure.
"Ludmila, dearest, what a revelation! You are God's most beautiful creature!"
With a light touch, he caressed her and began to kiss all of her body.  In an ecstatic surge of desire, Ludmila grasped his shoulders, drawing him close to her with all her strength.
"Now, darling, now!" she pleaded.
She moaned with delight at each of his thrusts into her body, and soon his words of endearment became an incoherent outpouring of his own passion.  As their sensations rose to climax, it seemed to Ludmila that flames were devouring years of frustration and humiliation.
When he caught his breath, Tadeus whispered, "Oh, my darling, my beloved, we are united now and forever.  Always we will be together.  This I swear, I love you more than life.  You are mine, and I am yours."
They lay silent, their damp bodies clinging to each other.  Contentedly, she moved her head to rest on his shoulder.  Soon, feeling a childish desire to be cuddled and snuggled, she rearranged her slender body so that she was curled in his embrace.
"Oh, thank you, God," she prayed.  "He is mine, mine, forever mine.  Please, God, I'll do everything possible to keep him forever."

 CHAPTER 5

Miguel and Nadejda went for long walks in the mountains, or drove often to the seashore. Both enjoyed dressing elaborately for parties and balls. His restrained conduct eased Nadejda's concern about what others might think of their constant companionship. And yet, increasingly, when she was alone, she reflected that their friendship was ambiguous. "It must end," she told herself. "There is no future, only suffering."
When finally she had decided to end her relationship with Miguel, she dreaded the inevitable encounter with him. As she slowly dressed, her heart was racing. Her mirror told her that her good health had returned. She was glowing with beauty. "But what good is beauty," she wondered, "if one cannot be happy?"
Today, Miguel came to get her earlier than usual and was waiting for her downstairs in the drawing room.
"How lovely you are, Nadia darling," Miguel exclaimed when she appeared in the doorway.
His compliments always brought color to her cheeks.
"You are too beautiful to be a real person."
"But I most surely am."
"No, you are a dream."
"I'm just a woman, Miguel, like any other woman, only in this moment, sadder than I have ever been before.  I  must tell you today . . . , now . . .  Our short happiness is doomed. This is the end."
Miguel stared at her in disbelief. He held out his hands, but she stepped aside and avoided his touch.
"That's not true, my dearest," he pleaded eagerly. "Love can be everlasting. It can be the only enduring link that unites people forever."
But Nadejda was resolute in her decision. Why postpone any longer a separation that must come inevitably? How cruel it would be to go on deceiving themselves and hide from the harsh realities lying ahead. She spoke firmly:
      "Miguel, I will always cherish our friendship above everything else. I should like it to last forever in our minds and hearts. But it leads us nowhere. It can only bring misery and sorrow. I am deeply grateful to you for having brought a brief spell of sunlight into my life and I will always remember you with tenderness. But now you must go and never come back!"
Miguel could not believe what he was hearing.
"Nadia, dearest Nadia, are you teasing me? This is so unlike you."
"No, Miguel, I am deadly serious. It is better that we should no longer see each other."
"Better for whom, for what?"
"For both of us."
"But why?"
"To prevent suffering. This is why I beg you, don't try to see me anymore. I intend to return home to Petrograd."
"To Petrograd?" Miguel exclaimed, "Nadia, my darling, don't make a hasty decision. With the war going on, it could be dangerous for you! Please think about me!" He had succeeded in clasping her hands and covered them with kisses.
 "Oh, please, Miguel, what else can I do? I am a married woman!" she wailed. "I have enjoyed  your company so much. But it has to end. It is inevitable.  Please respect my decision."
Miguel kept  shaking  his head. "Nadia, I can never let you go."
"It is a sacrifice we must make, Miguel, for both our sakes and for my peace of mind . . .  And now, let us not prolong this agonizing moment any longer. Please go!"
Miguel hesitated for a moment and bowed his head. Seeing the resolution in her steady gaze, he felt that it might be better to yield to her momentary mood than to confront it openly.
"My dearest, I respect your wishes. My heart aches, but I surrender. I do so, because I love you so much and must not  cause you any unhappiness. I would rather die than hurt you."
Nadejda pulled her hands from his and ran from the drawing room.
Upstairs, she flung herself on the bed and sobbed uncontrollably.
                                                                   *
                                                                 *   *
Nadejda told her maid, Dasha, and the other servants that she was no longer home to Don Miguel de Nueva. She would accept no notes, no telephone calls. Daily bouquets delivered by the florist should be politely refused. All letters in his handwriting were to be thrown unopened in the fire.
Nadejda wanted to leave without delay for Petrograd. But with war raging throughout Europe, she was told that bureaucratic obstacles had to be overcome. She was forced to bide her time.
Her mother could not understand Nadejda's talk about returning to Russia. She had always taken her daughter's reserved character for granted. She was utterly unaware of what Nadejda was enduring. When she received an invitation to spend a few days with a Russian cousin living in Nice, she was delighted. Thus, she gave little thought to her daughter's mood.
Except for meals, Nadejda remained in her room. She yearned for Miguel's tender and witty presence. Constantly, she relived their long drives and walks together.
Every day, flowers and notes came from Miguel. She withdrew her instructions to reject his flowers and to burn his messages. His letters restated his love and his anguish. He would gladly give his life for her and he would go with her to the end of the earth. He loved her more than anything on earth or in heaven . . .  For God's sake, have pity on him. He cannot endure life without her . . .
Each note begged, "Please, dearest, please let me see you."  Nadejda read, and reread these notes and wept.
On the morning of their departure for Nice, Nadejda surprised her mother and aunt by declaring that she was indisposed. The idea of travel was unwelcome. So adamant was she that finally, they departed without her.
She spent the day in bed with a headache. She passed the time reading newspapers and magazines, but constantly her thoughts drifted to the events of the preceding months.
Toward nightfall, when she had succeeded in falling asleep, she was awakened by a violent thunder storm. Flashes of lightening lit her room and rain streamed down the window panes. Claps of thunder rattled and shook the villa like an old ship on the high seas.
Nadejda was terrified by thunder storms. She pulled the bed covers and pillows over her head and clasped her hands to her ears. Half stifled by the blankets under which she lay, she panted and trembled in her self-made nest. Someone burst into the room and she faintly heard Dasha's muffled voice calling to her. Nadejda's first thought was that the house had been struck by lightening.   "Well, that's it,@ she thought. "Death will stop my misery."
Dasha tugged at the bedclothes. 
 "Milady, your ladyship! He was standing at the door, drenched to the skin, the poor man!"
Nadejda peeked from under the bedclothes.
"Who, what poor man, Dasha? What are you talking about?"
"Your friend, your ladyship, he is here! What could I do? He was knocking loudly at the front door. I opened it and there he was, soaked to the skin with a bunch of dripping flowers in his hand. Milady, I couldn't leave him out there to catch his death of cold, could I? It would have been a sin in the face of God the Almighty.  Blessed be His Name!"
Dasha piously made the sign of the cross several times.
Nadejda's head and shoulders emerged from the tangled blankets and sheets.
"So you let him into the house? Against my strict orders? Well, Dasha, now that the storm seems to have subsided, you must go down and tell him to leave the house immediately!"
"But we can't do that, milady. Look, it's still raining heavily, and he is all wet . . ."
"Dasha, I don't care! He knows he is not welcome in this house. If he chose to defy both the weather and my wishes, well, that's his decision, not yours or mine!"
"But Nadejda Alexandrovna, you know very well he came here only because he is madly in love with you."
"He must go," Nadejda declared.
"Milady," Dasha pleaded reproachfully, "we really cannot send him away in this rain. You couldn't put even a dog out tonight!"
Curiosity and her racing head could no longer restrain Nadejda. She leaped out of bed.
"My gown, Dasha!" she demanded, rushing to her dressing table to brush her hair and put on lipstick. She made a face at herself in the mirror and exclaimed: "Oh, I look awful!"
"Let me help you, milady," Dasha said. "After all, our guest can wait a bit, now, that he's safely in the house."
Her fingers arranged Nadejda's hair.
"Now," Dasha said, "just slip on this pretty dress."
Nadejda slipped into the frock and Dasha nodded in approval: "You look like a princess!"
Downstairs, Miguel was standing in a pool of water, in the entrance hall. His clothes clung to his muscular body. The hair was matted to his head. In his right hand were shreds of tissue paper covering pink and white rosebuds. He bowed formally to Nadejda.
"Miguel, you must be mad!" she exclaimed. "Dasha, go run a bath for him and bring some warm clothes."
"But milady," the maid protested, "there are no men's clothes in this house, we are all women here . . ."
Nadejda laughed.
"Take a robe from my aunt's wardrobe!"
Meekly, Miguel de Nueva followed Nadejda and Dasha. At the bathroom door, he solemnly handed Nadejda his sodden bouquet of roses.
Miguel's tall figure overwhelmed Aunt Vera's clothing, when he emerged from the bathroom wrapped in one of her floral peignoirs. The hem of the robe scarcely covered his upper thighs. He wore Turkish slippers, with upturned toes. He shuffled along the empty passage hoping to hear Nadejda's voice, but the house was silent. When he reached the top of the staircase, he hesitated,  coughed once, then twice, then several times. He peered over the banister and called: "Nadejda Alexandrovna! . . .  Nadia! . . .  Help! Is anyone here?"
As he leaned over the banister, his naked buttocks were bared. Intent on catching the slightest sound, he turned with a start when he heard a smothered gasp. He saw Nadejda standing in her bedroom doorway, shaking with laughter. Aware that he must look ridiculous, he joined her.
  "Yes, dear, I've become a clown."
He sensed that Nadejda's laughter was becoming uncontrolled. She had tears in her eyes. He moved to her, as rapidly as his exotic footwear would allow and put an arm around her shoulders.
"Oh, you look so dreadful," she said, unable to stop laughing.
He made a pretense of rearranging her aunt's gown. "So, you don't think I am attractive?"
"Oh, yes, you are a gorgeous example of manhood!"
She continued to shake with laughter. Miguel put both arms around her, entreating her to calm down. Soon she was relaxing. He lifted her in his arms and carried her in her bedroom, where he placed her gently on her bed and arranged the pillows, as if she were a child. He knelt on the floor beside her. Tenderly, he took her hand, caressed and kissed it. She tossed her head on the pillow, as her body was jolted convulsively.
"There, there, Nadia darling," Miguel whispered soothingly. "Calm down, sweetheart. Relax. Relax."
Gradually, she regained her composure. The tears of her mirth still moistened her cheeks, but now she was weeping in recollection of the frustration and despair of the last few days. She felt Miguel's lips on her hand.
"How strange," she wondered, "how this man's lightest touch always seems to be like a delightful electric shock." She felt tingling sensations move up her arm, to her shoulder and to her breast. Impulsively, she extended her hand, encouraging him to continue his caresses and his kisses on the soft skin of her forearm and into the vibrant nook of her elbow. Her fingers closed tightly around Miguel's wrist.
Miguel interpreted this tactile message as an invitation for a bolder venture. While his lips brushed her forearm, his hand traveled along her body, caressing her legs, from ankle to knee. Nadejda turned her face and looked at him through tear-laden lashes, her lips curved in a smile. Still on  his knees, he moved closer to her, until their faces were on the same level. Very softly, he kissed her lips. When his tongue touched them, she opened her mouth, so that what had begun so softly, now became a ravenous, passionate embrace. Nadejda moaned, while her own tongue explored his lips and mouth.
She felt Miguel's hand caressing the calves of her legs, then her knees, then above her garters and then resting on her thighs. Her body was quivering from his touch, but she thought of the inevitable outcome, and in sudden panic she seized his hand in hers, afraid but wildly hoping, that it would thrust her legs apart.
"Oh, Miguel," she pleaded. "We mustn't! Enough!"
"We cannot stop now. We mustn't," he told her. "Yes, dearest Nadia, because you love me, too."
He resumed kissing her passionately, almost suffocating her. She could not talk. Then, while murmuring: "Oh, Nadia, darling,  you are the most precious person in the world, I love you so much . . . ,@ he slowly removed her slippers, her stockings, her silk panties, and her dress.
"Miguel, stop! What are you doing?"
He slipped out of her aunt's gown.
"Loving you," he said. "I want to make you happy."
 "But I am happy just being with you."
"No, you are not completely happy,@ he said, continuing to kiss her. "Please, Nadia, let me show you what ultimate happiness is."
Miguel gently slid his body next to hers on the bed. His mouth left hers, and swiftly his lips ran down her neck and ear, while he clasped her closely to him. His hand then slowly moved to her breasts, touching and teasing her nipples with lingering tenderness. She groaned and gasped, shivered and squirmed. An increasing surge of irresistible desire was making her throb. Miguel's caressing lips were building a fierce urge in her quivering body. The spasms of her struggle abruptly ceased.
"The door, Miguel, lock the door. Dasha might come in."
He immediately complied and then turned off the chandelier lights, leaving only a night light at the bedside. She had shyly covered herself with the bed sheets.
"Let me see you, let me see all of you," he said. He began uncovering her slowly. His lips gently touched her throat again, then moved downward, kissing her lightly and tenderly. He pushed the covers aside and revealed Nadejda's exquisite body. He caressed her, touching her with his exquisite fingers.
"You are so smooth and soft," he murmured.
"Oh, Miguel . . ."
"How delicious," he whispered, and his mouth sought her breasts. He cupped them in his hands.
"I must give them equal treatment, or one will be jealous of the other."
As his tongue played over the erect nipples, she began to moan.
"Your skin is like rose petals. You are my rosebud."
Repeatedly he kissed her breasts, then slowly moved to her soft belly, then down to her closed thighs. His lips reached her feet. He took both feet in his hands, and one by one, kissed each toe. The delicate sensations she felt were more than she could bear.
"Oh, Miguel . . . Oh, please, please, stop!"
"I cannot. I'm busy with your toes. They are so sweet. This one is so small.  I almost missed it. Come here! I'll kiss you, too!"
Her excitement had risen to the point where she felt she could no longer resist his unrelenting caresses.
"Oh, please, Miguel, please! It's too much."
"I want you to feel just as I do."
He lifted his body, seeking her mouth, and kissing her passionately. As before, she could not restrain herself. His tongue explored her mouth.
"We cannot go on like this," she gasped. "Oh, Miguel, it is wrong, all wrong."
"Dearest Nadia, all I want is for you to feel with your body the love that I know we share. Nadia, darling, I love you with all my heart."
Miguel's lips and tongue were touching every nerve in her body, creating sensations that were more intense that any she had ever experienced. He kissed her knees. As her legs parted, his lips and tongue sought her inner thighs. He lifted himself until he was on his hands and knees, his lips touching hers. She arched her back to meet him. His first thrust into her body seemed almost as gentle and tender as the magical touch of his hands. He did not move inside her.
He pressed his lips to hers and whispered: "Nadia, I love you."
Miguel began to move within her in a slow rhythm, and she clutched him with all her strength. Unique, exquisite waves of warmth flooded her body. It seemed to her that all the world had been reduced to this bed, to the rhythm and joining of their bodies.
As she responded to his movements and his whispered declarations of love, the sensations become more and more delicious, almost painful. She felt her body explode. The spasms were so convulsive and so intense in pleasure that she screamed uncontrollably. She thought she was going to faint, and for a few moments, she went limp. Her breath was coming in gasps.
Miguel looked into her face, at her closed eyes, and he kissed her lips.
"My darling, my beloved . . . "
"Oh, Miguel, I don't know what is happening to me."
"This is true love," he said, and started to move again within her.
Renewed waves of intense feelings raked her. She then felt his body grow rigid. As his arms tightened around her, the same unbearable, delightful shock flushed again through her entire body. Slowly, both caught their breaths, and Miguel started again kissing her.
"Dearest Nadia," he finally said, "we were completely together."
His mouth moved on her damp body, her breasts, her stomach and her thighs. The delicious sensations that his hand and his tongue invariably provoked were coming back.
"Oh, Miguel, I can't stand it anymore. It is too much for me."
"I want you to feel good."
"I feel wonderful," she moaned and she began to weep. "I should not say this, but it's the first time that I felt anything like this."
"Then why are you crying, my beloved? Why?"
"Because never in my life, did I dream that such powerful sensations could exist. Oh, Miguel, what have you done to me? I feel that I finally became a woman."
"A most wonderful one!"
"You know this cannot continue. We must think of it only as an incident."
"Shush! Together we made a wonderful discovery. We found the beauty of shared love that will bind us together forever."
Softly, repeatedly, he kissed her lips and her breasts. "I will love you, Nadia, for the rest of my life."
They made love all night. They were holding each other in a close embrace, when thin streaks of daylight crept through the drapes.
Miguel awoke first. "Well, my darling," he said, "the sun tells me it's time for me to go, but first I have to find my clothes."
"Oh, my dearest," she wailed, "They must be somewhere! With the servants and all, you cannot go naked."
  "I  love you, darling. After what has happened between us, I'm willing to endure any embarrassment that the world provides."
"I love you too, Miguel, I love you," she whispered, her lips reaching for his.
For a few moments they stood with their naked bodies pressed together.
"You must be convinced, as I am," he said, "that our love is a treasure that will last eternally."
Gently releasing Nadejda, he retrieved her aunt's robe from the floor, smiling as he slipped it on. He unlocked the door and found his clothes on a chair in the passageway outside. They had been dried, pressed and neatly folded. He dressed in the bathroom, quietly walked downstairs and let himself out of the house. No one saw him.
Nadejda returned to bed and for a while cried softly. "So, this is what is means to be a real woman," she thought, "a fulfilled woman. I don't feel the slightest twinge of guilt. I am deeply in love with a man who may disappear forever from my life and I am so very happy. As he says, the memory will bind us."
Like a kaleidoscope, her mind reconstructed the night they had spent together, and she trembled at the recollection of sensations she had never thought were attainable. Soon the sunrise brightly invaded her bedroom and she drifted into deep sleep.
                                                                    *
                                                                  *   *
In the days and nights that followed, the two lovers became more and more aware of their infatuation. Their lovemaking brought them moments of fulfillment that often blinded them to all the obstacles that lay ahead.
Weeks passed. One evening Miguel brought Nadejda a quaint, old fashioned jewel case.  "Open it," he said.
Filled with curiosity, she opened the box. It contained a necklace and earrings of flawless diamonds that glittered on the black velvet lining. She looked up into Miguel's smiling face.
"Where did these come from?" she asked wonderingly.
"They are family-heirloom. They were given to my beloved grandmother by her husband, on their wedding day."
"They are so splendid!" Nadejda murmured, trying to visualize the young bride that they once adorned.
He placed the box in her hand.
"They are yours," Miguel said, taking the jewels out of the case. "May I put the necklace around your neck?"
"No, beloved, no! I can't accept these gifts. These must be worth a fortune!"
"Nadia, darling, don't you understand? It's not a gift.  It belongs to you. Everything I have, I and my life are yours forever!"
But Nadejda shook her head.
"No, Miguel, I can't accept. Don't you see that I could never wear these exquisite jewels? After all, people talk!"
"And so, you tell them  they belonged to your family," he suggested.
"If only  it were true," she said, "but there is nothing like it in our family."
"But who will know that they came from my family, not yours?"
"My mother and my aunt will know . . . and then others . . .  "
Miguel nodded.
"Please, Nadia, eventually you and I are going to be married and openly sanctify the God given bonds that link us to each other. At our wedding ceremony, I hope that you will wear these jewels. Even if you cannot accept them now, they are yours and I will hold them for you until then."
"Oh, Miguel dearest, let's not talk about it, because I am already married. "
"You will get a divorce."
"You know that it's not so easy. This is a dream that may never come true. Let's enjoy the present and not spoil it, by discussing about such an uncertain future."
Miguel said thoughtfully: "Nadia, I think it would help, if you would tell your mother and your aunt the truth about us."
Nadejda was too profoundly disturbed by this suggestion to put up any immediate opposition. Silently she reached out her hands and abandoned them to Miguel's fervent and promising kisses.
  

The Midwest Book Review

James A. Cox
Editor-in-Chief
Midwest Book Review

Small Press Bookwatch

The Biography Shelf

Chained Generations
Luminitza Sava and Lidia Sava Callvert

Amazon.com Customer Reviews